in this big ocean

There are times when I feel so scared. as if i was left there in the middle of the deep ocean. alone. 

i know i have Allah with me. that should be more than enough. 

but as a weak human, i still have the fear. scared. i pray for that there will be some other human being that would stand there by me, not just to hold my hands, but to understand me, my feelings and my fear and thus help me to keep swimming,,swimming out of this place up to the surface. 

i have lots of fear, be it bout the live i'm living in this huge world or the coming Hereafter. 

until i can find another human to understand & help me swimming up to surface, i'll try my very best not to drown. i'll try to learn how to swim myself. i have Allah with me. i'll keep trying, because i'm here. still alive. and i want to keep living. living a good live. until Allah asks me to stop and take me with Him.

=)

may Allah grand me this courage. Ameen.

***

last night's dean list was saddening and inspiring. how much i want to achieve to that level too. this time too, i don't know if i will or can try my best, but for the time being that's what i'm going to do. 

asked a friend that we will too, stand a moment like that next semester. that message last night was actually like a promise i'm making with him, that both of us will work our very best to achieve that. but he seem not to know. guess he thought it was just a saying. but hey you there, i was serious actually^^ 

the very friend achieving dean's award last night was awesome. she's always been. and she keeps growing brighter. congratez ne =)

p/s: I love my family, my friends and myself.

=)