Assalamualaikum.
Todays entry is kinda a bit of self-conscious (i think..em. maybe.) and i guess can only be accepted by those who felt the same things.
All this while, i thought everything need to be understood in order to be accepted.
This theory i've been using applies on human mostly. on one's character i guess. need to understand one's behavior, why one did that, why one is like that, any hidden history that lead to this and that, all those that encompasses every possible reasons behind the present behavior of oneself.
i've been doing a lot of thinking. em.
It's quite depressing actually. especially for those whom i can't seem to take it or accept it. until i can understand it, i seem to be, not rejecting it, but rather, kinda repulsive unto.
It's not like the kind that make you hate that person, but just a slight dislike in the heart, as such you can still treat that person well, but there's this small feeling of discontentment toward some things that one did, or towards that person itself.
Astaghfirullahala'zim.
i feel really bad (T_T)
well, some make me more attracted to them. in such a way to understand them better. because their undefined-dunno-where-it-come-from hidden charm are stronger than the repulsive unacceptable-kinda-dislike-dunno-why feeling.
i think everyone has this feeling. pretty sure of it. but the different between us all is how we tackle this feeling. to accept it, rejecting it, or rather like me, always choosing to look for an answer to understand and try to accept.
while i was browsing the fb's newsfeed, i came across this one quote. which become sort of an answer to me, or at least make me realize something.
This proves something. my theory, i don't think they're totally wrong. i still, do think that we ought to understand something first before we can truly embrace it or accept it well. but this theory however is flawed a bit. the missing part is that not everything need to be understood, but rather, need to be accepted, unconditionally.
maybe some thing, some people, are just born to be like that. lets now learn to accept. it's not gonna be easy however, but nothing is impossible. if we fail to, try again. try to accept. try to like.
i don't want to keep having such discontentment feeling toward a person for i can't accept his/her act. it feels kinda suffocated inside. for i know it's not a good thing. such feelings are all little whisper from the Satan to ruin us humans. this is a fact.
for i want to be a Muslim with good, pure heart insyaAllah, so i want to always purify this heart from even the smallest spot.
may Allah grant us bless to be a better Muslims. Let us strive together =)
