split identity?

Agak malas sket rini sebenarnya (Kat umah memang salu malas pon =_=||).

Tengah online2 ngan malasnya, tetiba kedengaran suatu bunyi yang sangat merdu. hehe

~kimi dake ni aita kata yo~itsu daate aita kata yo~lalala~

Ohh~ jap2 henpon aku rupanya. Ngan semangatnya aku pon lari2 laa pegi angkat tepon.

"Hello?"

.. Teka sape - ALIYA!!

kasi promote sket.. lawa kan dy >___<

haha. Rasa cam freshen, energize, recharge(?) sket pas sembang2 ngan dy. Over sangat ke aku nye description tuh?.. haha! Maksud aku, pas sembang2 ngan dy ase cam xlaa malas lagi. Da lama tak jumpa.. macam2 laa cite yang kuar kan. hehe~ Cam cheer sket pastu. hehe lebih bersemangat! (hiperbolic sket)

Eheh yela bila pikir balek kan, dy jek aku nye kawan baek dari kecik.. yang stays until now. Life: people come & go. So does friendship. But she's different. Maybe sebab kitorang sepupu kot. Mana ley putus kan! HAHA! Maen sesama, gusti sesama (gusti.. aku salu dok tepi jek bila dyorang maen.. yeye aku lembik sket=_=||), kena marah sesama, gelak sesama, kongsi cite sesama. She's straight & loud. Dunno if it's good or bad, but I'm comfortable with it^^

Eyh aku bukan nak cite sal ko laa aliya. Panjang lak essei sal ko. =P

Anyway apa yang dy cakap kat aku tadi sebenarnya yang menjadi topik entry aku arini. hehe. Bunyik cam siyes jek. LOL.

Ada sesape yang ade split identity tak?.. Aku rasa aku ada split identity laa. Means aku saket ke wei?.. sakit mental?!! HAHA!

Bila aku kat umah jek, aku jadik sorang yang cold. Bukan "cool" tapi "cold". Sangat cold. Bila kat umah, aku buat hal senirik jek. Tak suka cakap sangat, tak peduli orang sekeliling, buat hal senirik. Kira macam teori perkembangan moral : teori teleologi- personal egoisme. Hehe apply subjek moral sket.

Tak taw la nape kat umah aku jadik sangat cold. Ngan sume orang pon. Mama, abah, adik2, bibik. Asal aku kat umah jek, I turn to such mode. Automatically. It's like a non-voluntary action. Sama macam bernafas, mata berkelip etc. All pon non-voluntary action. Yeap, so does this "cold" mode acting on me- Non-voluntary.

I'm not me when I'm at home. I mean I am me. But not truly human me. I turn to cold me. Agak kurang berperasaan, takde rasa apa2, quite robotic. HAHA!

Tapi bila kat tempat laen ok plak. Bila luar dari umah. Kat umah kawan ke, sepupu ke, kampung- kat umah tok ke, ok plak. Turn to normal-me mode. I wonder.. kenapa ye?..

ehe~ one of my fave movie. the human-robot! 

Red Balloon

wahhh~ so like a dream huh?.. I wanna live in this dream..seriously!

Balloons are just adorable isn't it?.. Everybody loves balloon. Try ask your little sis or bro, sure they'll say yes to balloon. I like balloon. Especially red balloon. Why red?.. Because red is an official color for cassiopeia. Because I'm a cassiopeia, I love red balloon. HAHA!

red = cassiopeia

Ahha~ at first it was because red balloon is a symbolic of cassies, but then I like red balloon more and more. Not just because it represents cassies and TVXQ but I simply fall for red balloon itself. HAHA! (what a naive confession =__=|| )


Yahh.. almost obsess with red balloon (or is it "I am obsess with red balloon"?!!). I love red balloon so much. Like seriously like "like" red balloons! I get excited over red balloon. Especially hydrogen-filled red balloon. Hey, it flies! Who'ld not like it?! LOL

Someone posted on tumblr today- red balloon along with some part of "Balloon" lyric. Jeez~! I miss that!.. "Balloon" by TVXQ..it's a really nice & cute song. Somehow it feels quite sad..nostalgic(?) listening to the song again. Hey, what's your childhood dream?.. Do you still remember them? ^^


TVXQ-Balloons's lyric (English translation):


during my childhood i dreamed a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying away

if a red balloon flies in the sky my heart remembers beautiful memories

my dream as a child was to ride a red balloon and fly high into the sky
i forgot about that small dream and lived on until now because i grew up so much

but when i'm miserable i want to run around and play like a child
filling a balloon full of my small dreams

during my childhood i dreamed a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying away
if a red balloon flies in the sky my heart remembers beautiful memories

i can't understand why tears come out when i look at the sky
i wonder why you forget that tiny childhood when you become an adult

at times, i too want to just fly high into the sky
with my forgotten dreams and memories

during my childhood i dreamed a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying away
if a red balloon flies in the sky my heart remembers beautiful memories

lalalalala lalalalala lalalalala lalalala lalalala lalala
though time passes though i forgot
will it be possible to contain it in the red balloon

during my childhood i dreamed a beautiful dream about riding a balloon and flying away

if a red balloon flies in the sky my heart remembers beautiful memories

For us cassie, we believe. TVXQ days stay forever.

I seriously miss TVXQ. The 5 TVXQ. (T.T)

6 Hijau SKBBD

Zaman kanak2 memang cepat berlalu kan?.. Dulu sama2 main2, lari2, blaja sama2 sampai petang..cikgu lak sungguh2 ngan semangatnye wat kelas tambahan lepas kelas. Ehe~ yep sangat rindu zaman skola rendah. Paling suke taim darjah 6. Kawan2, cikgu2, kelas,skolah..sume best! ^^

Salah sorang kawan skola rendah aku de upload gamba taim darjah 6. Wahh~ rindu gle. Aku nye copy mane ntah letak..Isk2, aku ase aku dah TERhilangkan laa gamba tuh. Ciss~ Dulu punya laa simpan baek2, dalam kotak lawa lagik. Tapi ntah cane tetiba jek dah takde. Pandai lari kot barang2 aku (which explains why barang2 aku salu ilang).

6 Hijau SKBBD. Nampak aku tak? ^^ (click on the image for BIGger size)

Thanx to Ezza (tukang upload gambar & tag mengetag) sesi jejak kasih berjalan dengan jayanya! ..reunion kat facebook! Nilah masa nye social network memainkan peranan penting dalam menyatukan semula suatu kelopok masyarakat yang sudah lama terpisah (puitis tak?). Tapi betol laa, ngan facebook laa kitorang dapat jumpa balek.. about 97% dapat dijejaki. Selebihnya, unknown<--(tak dapat dijejak kat facebook)

poster social network. (kaitkan ngan filem terbaru..hehe)

Sume pon dah besar2 skang. Especially dak2 laki. Warghh~ memang laen gle aah masing2! Wuhh memang dah xkenal kot. HAHA! Gurl, boleh lagik laa..ade gak rupa..maseh boleh dicam. hok3~

Banyak dah pegi luar negara. Wahh ebat2 lahh kawan2 sume! Saya maseh di Malaysia. hehe~ dulu sama2 berhingus, bising2, gadoh2, poyo2..skang masing2 dah berpecah..ikot haluan sendiri. Bervariasi. Doc-to-be, engineer-to-be, teacher-to-be etc.. Masing2 berusaha mengikut jalan yang dipilih. Masing2 sedang berjalan menuju kejayaan. 

Kawan2, korang camne? Masih kuat kah anda?.. Ada yang bagus & ada yang tengah struggle to keep walking. I know it wasn't just me. Mesti ramai gak yang tengah berusaha kan?.. Kengkadang penat, jatuh, rasa cam nak givap. Tapi tu sume just a part of the journey. There's still a long way to go. Bangun2!! Jangan sedey. Smile & get back on your feet. Jom kita sama2 berusaha. Tho we're on the same trail like we used to, but we're heading to the same goal. To achieve victory. Ntuk dapatkan apa yang kita nak. Ntuk capai apa yang kita usahakan. Ntuk capai impian. Ntuk berjaya.  
                                                    

(Kat bawah ni seterusnya & sebenarnya secara langsung & tidak langsung adalah motivasi ntuk diri snirik)..

Walau susah cane pon, sekali pon kamu jatuh, jangan terus menangis. Past is past. There's nothing you can do to change it anyway. Even if you have time machine, boleh guna ke time machine kamu tu? =__=|| if yes, show me. If not, tak payah dok gatai2 bersedih2 lama2, ilang semangat sume. Bangun! Yes kamu taw apa yang baik ntuk kamu, tapi Allah lebih tahu apa yang TERBAIK ntuk kamu. Jadi jangan risau. Sume nye akan ok^^ Everythings happens for reasons. Trust HIM. Believe in HIM. ^^ 

Sume benda pon bukan senang sebenarnya nak dicapai. Cam life, ade ups & downs. Sabar laa ye^^

GAMBATTE!! Dah2 jangan sedey2..usaha lagi laen kali!

             

Rekonstruktion des Lebens

Well, this was actually taken from my tumblr. Feel pretty bad for not updating this blog. LOL

"Rekonstruktion des Lebens"

A friend, .. no bestie, posted this on Facebook. I liked the status. Interesting. Seems like I should do the same too. It’s life, my life was quite a mess. Normal?.. Maybe.. for a person like me. But hey, nobody’s life is perfect ryte?.. XDD

Emmm, I think that I need to reconstruct my life again. Logically, I think people reconstruct their life few, or maybe many33++ times a lifetime. LOL

“The most predictable thing about life is its unpredictability”.

Don’t know where I’ve heard about this quote. Well, this one, was taken from a friend. hehe~ Life is just so unpredictable. You plan for your life. But is there any guarantee you’ll walk your planned life perfectly?.. NO. Because you are a human being, you have no power to do that.

Hey same here! *high five!*

I’m 100% aware that I’m a human being. No matter how perfect or freak you might be, you can never run away from the fact, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING.

You fall down, there’s two choice you have in front of you- get on your feet and start climbing again or stay there, broken. Family, career, life. Ups and downs in life, these things grow you.

Who says make up of new cells in your body grows you? You grow by experience. Whats the use of having tall, good body when you’re unable to do anything on your own?.. Err, ok. Maybe cause you’re born with silver-spoon in your mouth so you can get everything done for you. That’s..in my opinion, isn’t real life. You haven’t grow yet (based on own experience). There will be one point in your life, where you’ll get out from that zone, and start to learn about real life. It’s fun. Very3 interesting actually! ^^

Experiences make people strong. You grow from experience. (Agree?.. THANX! LOL.)

If experience makes you go weak, hey, how pessimistic you are! It’s ok to be sad for a while, to feel lonely whatsoever. Take your time. You are allow to..but hey, not too long ok. The world doesn’t stop with you.
You’ll miss a lot of things if you still cry yourself on the bed.

Let say love or friendship or maybe a person which mean so much to you. (This example was taken because most people do experience this. hehe~) You might be thinking, how is it possible for me to get rid of him/her?.. it’s hard to throw or stop something which have become a ‘habit’ to you ryte?.. And why is that so? Because it’s comfortable. It’s something you already get used to, something you live with. And so, how on earth are you going to simply throw it away ryte?..

no, no, no. Not that easy dudes.

By time, you gradually forgot that it’s something you shouldn’t take in the first place.. something you shouldn’t let yourself to. Because that zone is just so comfortable. Isn’t it?

But you still did. Then what?..blame yourself for the consequences you already aware of?.. Even if u do so, it won’t change anything.

TIME. You have passed the time.

And surely you’re not an angel or a superpower-dude that can travel back through time.

got time machine?

Think back. Isn’t the experience you gain (good or bad) somehow did change you?.. Little or much, you’re not the same person like you you used to be. Somehow, something does change within you yourself. It’s life. From experience, you gain something- heartache, pain, broken, smile, joy, bliss, success. All sorts of good and bad experience, feeling. And all this contribute to who you are now. It changes your thinking, your mindset, the way you see the world, people and things.

Aren’t these good things? ^^

This friendship we built might not be the same when time slowly change something within ourself. But you are a part of the reason why I am who I am ryte now. Not everything is good. That’s why the word ‘bad’ is created- to defined not good.

Good or bad, people always seek to find a better self. And we go trough this good and bad experience. Thanks to people around me, for who I am now. I’m still lack in many things, but for now, I’m satisfied with the little construction I did in my life. Bit by bit. Ahha~ I didn’t alter my life 100%. That’s impossible. But I’ll slowly change it to a better one. ^^ gambatte ne!

\^o^/

Fieldtrip to Royal Belum

Assalamualaikum~

Sejujurnya, aku xminat sgt pon nk berblogging nih..tp xtaw laa kenapa aku wat gak akaun nih. =__=|| hehe
Aku pon xtaw ape jek aku nk sumbat lam nih. adeyhh~

By the way, since aku tgh boring2 skang (salah satu sebab aku wat benda ngarut nih) meh aku cte sket sal aku nye fieldtrip ke Royal Belum ye =)

Khamis, 30 Sept (2.10 pm)
*bla3* <--aku nye ringtone hp

"Mawad, kamu katne?..dah siap ke??"

Ohh yeah, aku lmbat lagik.. kitorang sepatutnya berkumpul kat dataran kolej kediaman pukul 2 ptg, tp.. ehe~ ehemm tgk laa waktu kat atas tuh..paham2 laa ye..

Lalu, ngan kerkocoh-kocoh nye, aku mengambil beg aku & kuar dari bilik. Hampir 2 minit dibazirkan untuk aku menyelit kertas kat pintu bilik aku y rosak tuh..hampir sebulan dah wat report, xde jugak tindakan yg diambil..konon tengah order tombol pintu. HOH~ nyusahkan betol laa pintu ni pon.. ciss

Sesampainya aku kat dataran kolej kediaman, aku tgk masing2 tengah berkumpul, menunggu bas (aku bajet sume dah tggu atas bas laa kan sbb ckp kul 2 nak bertolak). Okeyh laa, setelah hampir satu jam menunggu bas yang 'diORDER', bas laen lak yang sampai..terpaksa laa naek walopon bas persiaran je pon..

Perjalanan yang agak kurang menyelesakan tu + masa perjalanan yang diextent atas sebab2 yang aku malas nk cite mengambil masa lebih kuarng 6 jam (dari UMK ke Grik, 6 jam??!) xpela, aku malas nk kesah sangat, cool jela kan, xdela nk marah2..asalkan sampai dah.

Sesampainye kat tempat yang dituju, kena pulak time tuh ujan renyai2.. Dapat laa pakai baju ujan 'digi-man' aku yang baru beli tuh..wahh menarek!  Pastu kitorang kena jalan kaki untuk ke tempat penginapan, sebab kenderaan laen xley masok. Tempat penginapan dy agak menarek. Malas nak cite, tengok laa senirik gambar dy..nah

ni jek gambar yg aku rase clear sket structure dy (crdt to fasyu & sazaku sbb jadik biotic component lam gamba nih)

cani laa lantai tempat nih, bamboo-made. katil lak, cam kat atas nih-kena pasang senirik ye

Pas makan, rehat2 and tido..Ohh ye, air kat toilet lak, pakai air yang dipam dari tasek & disimpan lam tempayan/tong air..means, no air paip! kalo nak guna, kena berjimat cermat laa ye..menarek kan??..hahaha!!

Jumaat, 1 Oct

Dah kenyang makan nasi goreng & roti telor masing-masing pon ngan excitednye pakai life jacket sebab pastu kitorang akan naek naek bot pegi Royal Belum. yeahh! Sambil menunggu bot berkunjung tiba, ni laa aktiviti2 kitorang..

masing2 sebok amek gambar

Perjalanan ke Royal Belum mengambil masa lebih 1 jam.. sebab ngantok sangat, aku sempat lagi tido atas bot tuh.. haha~ ehemm bkn aku sorang ye, lagi 4 org kwn aku pon sama2 berjemaah menunaikan aktiviti ini.

Selesai ngan aktiviti quadrat sampling ntk subjek Ecologi nih, gi makan & rehat. Sambil rehat2 kitorang wat laa banner sempena trip kitorang nih..jeng~! (kasi promote sket)

SBN2 eco-venture!

Dalam pukul 3 lebeyh, kitorang bertolak ke perkampungan orang asli. Mula2 sampai, kitorang disambut ngan meriahnye oleh beberapa ekor anjing yang cam agak garang. Seram sebentar =__=|| ehe~

Ape kat lam fikiran korang kalo ckp sal org asli nih??..mungkin korang akan pikir orang asli ni kuno gle, xpakai baju, xde kasut, guna alatan2 batu lagi.. Ish, korang xpenah tepikir ke ntah2 dyorang dah maju, pakai BMW 5 series, dah ade astro, streamyx..siap ade facebook & blog lagi! Dah, cukup2 laa berangan..ni laa kehidupan sebenar orang asli
 

tgh menunggu anaknya pulang dari bandar..beli bangunan (..ok aku tipu)

opps, ni bukan kat Afrika ye..nama budak ni L. mak dy dapat ilham dari cite Death Note kot

Masing2 pon bawk makanan & barang2 utk didermakan kpd org asli nih. Boleyh laa wat kenduri sket mlm ni ye..Orang asli pon ade banyak kaum sebenarnye (ape??.. korang da taw??!) Kaum yg kitorang lawat nih, kaum Jahai kalo xsilap.. bukan "jahat" ye..Satu fakta yg cam agak menarik sal orang asli ni, kalo dyorang suke sama suke, peren lak kasi green light ley laa "tidur"..camtu cara perkahwinan dyorang.hehe~

Ok, kuar dari perkampungan orang asli, kitorang pegi air terjun Roak..kena naek bot lagi laa ye. Kali ni, aku xtido dah.. hehe. Bukan senang nak naek bot laju yg laju ditambah lak cuaca ari tu yg mendung2 sket tak campur lagi kawasan tasik Temenggor tu senirik yg lawa sgt3.. memang best aah.

with my boat-mate aka my very33 good fren (crdt to Arep sbb jadik cameraman..hehe)

Perjalanan pulang ke tempat penginapan agak mengujakan (?) sebab tyme tu da petang..sunset view kat Tasik Temenggor sangat laaaa lawa. Boleh laa sape2 nak honeymoon kat situ ye. Boleh nampak kabus kat atas air..wahh cam lam movie dah ni.. hoho! Esoknye (sabtu), pack2 barang, mandi tasik & balik..

Oihh tengok jam dah pukul 5pg.. =_=|| 'menarek'. Dah2 laa tu, malas dah nak cte panjang2.. samat malam sume..eyh silap, samat pagi! ^o^